I wanted to write you an e-mail because I just had a great work experience and have you to credit for it.
At my internship, I told one of the managers I have an interest in editing and she proceeded to give me a few writing samples to edit. I had a meeting today with the writer, who is himself an editor for his department, and he praised and complimented the work I did. He commented that I was able to eliminate needless words (concision) and was surprised I noticed that some of his figures were inconsistent (always check the math).
I told him about a lot of the exercises we did in class, and he wanted me to pass along praise to you for teaching us all that you did.
While I realize I am tooting my own horn a bit here, I wanted to let you know that all the exercises and activities we did are extremely helpful for what I am doing now. If any of your students ever ask why they have to do them, simply tell them you never know when you're going to need to use that skill in the real world – I certainly never thought the editing exercises done in class would be as similar as writings I am doing in the big, bad corporate world.
Is it complete? Is there anything unusual in the picture that is not explained in the cutline?
Does it identify? Identification is the basic purpose of a cutline.
Does it tell when and
Where the picture was shot?
Does it tell what is in the picture, not what is in the story? (In other words, don’t repeat the lead of the story.)
Does it avoid repeating word for word a sentence or passage directly from the story? (Just as a headline should not echo the lead of a story, a cutline should not repeat verbatim sentences or passages from story. That is lazy editing.)
Does it have the names right? This means are they spelled correctly and in correct order (from left).
Is it easy to read? The sentences must be short, direct and in proper sequence.
Is it specific? Does it give information on specific points of interest in the picture, or does it merely echo the obvious?
Does it have adjectives? Let the reader decide whether the subject is “middle-aged,” “glamorous” and so on. Also, don’t interpret emotions.
Does the picture suggest another picture? Going to press without the other picture is like running a story before getting all the facts.
Use present tense in the first sentence that gives identification, the who and what in the picture, and what is happening.
Use another tense in following sentences and use time element.
Be clever, but not cutesy
Try for identification, but don’t stress fact it is unknown. Find a label for those pictured.
Identify from left to right, and indicated with left if it is not obvious.
Use full sentences.
*Some of this comes from the Associated Press Managing Editors’ Newspaper Committee under the leadership of Emmett Dedmon of the Chicago Sun-Times.
KEY WORDS: For every headline you write in this lab you are expected to put above the headline several key words. I will take off points if they are missing.
For purposes of this class, one column = 2 inches
Also, every story you edit should also include an online headline of about 12 to 15 words labeled as the "online hed."
By Frederick Vultee • University of Missouri • vulteef@missouri.edu
After “semester upon semester of saying ‘The news isn't in the relative clause. The news isn't in the relative clause,’” Frederick Vultee devised this approach for helping his students find key words for headlines.
•••
How to find key words for a headline
Find the first independent clause in the story and list the simple subject, simple predicate and direct object. In other words:
WHO _______________ did WHAT _______________ to WHOM ________________ ?
WHERE was it done? ______________________ ?
Now look for dependent clauses and participial phrases.
A participial phrase might tell you WHY you care about the verb: _________________________________________
(A car bomb exploded in Beirut today, killing a former prime minister.)
A relative clause often tells WHY you care about the subject or object: _______________________________
(The man who performed the world’s first heart transplant died today.)
REMEMBER: If your headline’s verb comes from a relative clause, you have the wrong headline:
Man performs heart transplant – vs. – Heart transplant pioneer dies
Which noun is more important to your story:
SUBJECT (think active voice) or OBJECT (think passive voice) ?
Can you omit any grammatical steps?
Smith files a lawsuit against Jones subj verb direct object indirect object
Smith sues Jones subj verb direct object
A man who was charged in last week’s robbery subj relative clause prepositional phrase
A suspect in last week’s robbery subj prepositional phrase
1.No. 1 Rule: Headlines must tell the reader what the story's about
2.Headlines must be accurate
3.Headlines must be fair
4.Headlines must fit and fill the space allotted
5.The headline’s tone must be consistent with the nature of the story
6.The headline’s tone must be consistent with the personality of the publication
7.The headline can't say more than the story says
8.In other words, the story must support the headline
9.The headline needs to persuade the reader to read the story.
Headline Checklist – Things to Avoid
1.Inappropriate language or a tone that doesn't fit the story.
2.Exaggerating conflict, danger, criticism, etc.
3.Editorialization or words that suggest an opinion of the head-writer.
4.A "negative" head using the word "not.“
5.Conclusions the story doesn't back up.
6.Inappropriate assumptions or interpretations.
7.Piled-up adjectives or other modifiers that detract from clarity.
8.A "label head," unless omitting the verb helps the head or the count is so short that a "book title" head is the only way out.
9.Assumptions that the reader has been following the story daily.
10.Obscure names that readers won't instantly recognize.
11.Undue familiarity, often by using a person's first name.
12.Abbreviations or acronyms that are not instantly recognizable.
13.Jargon, which clouds the meaning for readers.
14.Cliches, which are neither creative nor compelling.
15.Meanings the reader won't "get" until the story is read.
16.Echoing the lede or stealing the punchline.
17.A hard-news head based on facts far down in the story.
18.Puns in heads on serious news stories.
19.Putting first-day heads on second-day stories.
20.Using "question" or "colon" heads routinely.
An Interview With John McIntyre
John McIntyre, former president of the American Copy Editors Society ACES and an assistant managing editor at the Baltimore Sun. He likened writing headlines to a combination of playing Scrabble and completing a crossword puzzle.
Q: What should readers reasonably expect from headlines?
McIntyre: Accuracy, clarity and precision. Liveliness and originality are important to capturing the reader's interest, but they are secondary to accuracy.
Q: What challenges do copy editors face in meeting those expectations?
McIntyre: There is seldom enough time to polish and refine headlines as much as copy editors would like. And the lack of time also comes up against the fundamental challenge: distilling the sense of an entire article into half a dozen words.
Q: What are the uppermost cardinal rules of good headline writing?
McIntyre: Try to follow the vocabulary and syntax of conversational English insofar as you can. Avoid headlinese ("Solons slate parley") and wretched, obvious wordplay ("purr-fect" for any story about cats).
Q: What was the worst headline?
McIntyre: You want to write a famous headline? Write a bad one. "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN" is still the most famous headline in American journalism.
Nicolas Kristof, of the New York Times, recently posted in his On the Ground blog, "Here at The New York Times, we still have all of our foreign bureaus -- partly because our strategy is to compete for readers who seek international news and analysis -- but most newspapers and TV networks have been pulling back. Only four American newspapers now have foreign desks." Demotix, a new citizen journalism site, has been launched to fill the gap created when the vast majority of news outlets rely on press releases and wire services.
The site, somewhat uniquely, is trying to position itself as an intermediary for photojournalists, a source bank where media outlets can select images, buy them (for between $80-$1,600) and the site splits the revenue from the photo with the citizen photographer who uploaded it.
This week, Editor & Publisher announced its 8th annual, "10 That Do It Right," a top ten not for the top ten best newspapers, but for ten who are doing exceptionally well in one particular aspect - from marketing to online video, investigative journalism to interactive features - "that merits consideration and maybe even emulation by their peers."
The Current-Argus recently implemented a new recruiting strategy for carriers -- recruit people who don't need the job (but will take it on to earn the extra $500-$700 a month). Not only did attrrition drop from almost 20% a month to nearly zero, but the paper is actually saving money.
The Times-Dispatch holds regular "Public Square" community discussions and have also hosted eight News Roundtables to hear criticism, observations, and recommendations about the paper's coverage. That's on top of the monthly Listening Tour, when Silvestri and other top executives and editors visit one of its 20 core communities to get to better know newsmakers and readers."
USA Today's has created a social media site, "Cruise Log." "Everyone can be an author and distribute content easily, but USA Today adds the judgment and guidance that traditional journalists have always provided."
The Las Vegas paper has launched hugely successful industry-specific job sites. Almost immediately the sites exceeded revenue projections by about 40%, earning about $40,000 a month. They paid for themselves in the first month, said Chelle Bize, the paper's recruitment advertising manager.
Jon Busdeker and Chris Welch, two A&E writes for The Huntsville Times have developed a comedy routine, of sorts. The Wednesday webcast previews the Thursday addition and helps drive print sales.
"Busdeker and Welch perform parodies of Blue Man Group performances, wield mops as swords to preview movies, and exchange white-trash talking with actors from "The American Trailer Park Musical."
The Herald recently introduced The Daily Beachcomber, a free tabloid for the Hampton beach season. Hampton's beaches are a big market between the end of the school year and Labor Day. As many as 120,000 show up on a good day; the free paper has turned a 28% profit margin. Chicago Journal.
"'It's a mix of hard news reporting, a little boosterism, some editorial leadership, some calling people out,' Dan Haley, the paper's founder explained. 'We're not apart from the community, we don't hold ourselves apart or above [it].'"
Haley founded the Journal to provide a voice and shape the identity of the inner-city community that was establishing itself in Chicago.
"Starting a newspaper subscriber loyalty program is a no-brainer. Unfortunately, that's often as much brain power as many papers invest in creating and operating the program." The Times established a unique rewards program that actually works.
When newsroom conflicts at the rival News-Press left the Santa Barbara community looking for a new news source, the Indepdendent stepped in. "Since the summer of 2006... the News-Press has slipped in daily circulation to 35,000, while the Independent's audited pickup every Thursday is 40,000."
Published: August 01, 2008 12:58 PM ET CHICAGO Robert G. Picard, the well-known media economist, has developed a test about the economic and financial conditions of U.S. newspapers that he gave to attendees at a recent industry conference.
Take it yourself, and see how you do:
1. The average newspaper circulation is about (a) 150,000 (b) 110,000 (c) 85,000 (d) 50,000 (e) 35,000
2. Newspaper penetration per population (a) Has remained relatively stable (b) Dropped suddenly in after 2000 (c) Dropped suddenly in the mid 1990s (d) Began declining steadily beginning in 1980s (e) Has declined at a steady pace for 50 years
3. Newspaper advertising income reached an all time high of $49.3 billion in (a) 2006 (b) 1999 (c) 1993 (d) 1989 (e) 1984
4. Adjusted for inflation, advertising income in newspapers is (a) About the same as in 1950 (b) 1.5 times lower than in 1950 (c) 2.5 times lower than in 1950 (d) 1.5 times higher than in 1950 (e) 2.5 times higher than in 1950
5. Since 2000, classified advertising has declined about (a) 10 percent (b) 25 percent (c) 50 percent (d) 75 percent (e) None of the above
6. Income from online newspaper advertising has replaced which portion of lost income from print classified advertising (a) 15 percent (b) 30 percent (c) 45 percent (d) 60 percent (e) 75 percent
7. Newspapers are primarily dependent upon which type of advertising a) National (b) Retail (c) Classified (d) Preprint (e) Legal
8. The return on sales for newspapers is now (a) Below pharmaceutical companies (b) Below automakers (c) Below department stores (d) Below banks (e) None of the above
9, The number of journalists working in papers is (a) About the same as in 1970 (b) 25 percent lower than in 1970 (c) 50 percent lower than in 1970 (d) 25 percent higher than in 1970 (e) 50 percent higher than in 1970
10. The overall financial conditions of the newspaper industry is (a) Worse than in the 1990s (b) Worse than in the 1980s (c) Worse than in the 1970s (d) Worse than in the 1960s (e) Worse than ever in its history
8-10 You have a realistic view of the industry's situation 4-7 You have an incomplete understanding of the industry's situation 0-4 You have an unrealistic view of the industry's situation
I suppose sometimes it's only natural for us to use words or phrases even when we're not quite sure what they mean. Or maybe we have our own individual notion of their meanings. But one might expect law enforcement to use words that have some clearly agreed upon meaning when they talk openly in criminal investigations about the people who are their suspects, targets or even possible witnesses. In recent years, person of interest seems to have been added to this list of descriptors. But what, you may ask, is a person of interest?
Google provides 412,000 hits, so the phrase is not exactly a new kid on the street. We don't know exactly when person of interest elbowed its way into use by law enforcement but it's likely to have shown up sometime in the 1970s, and then it really got noticed about the time of the 1996 Olympics bombing in Atlanta. You may recall that at that time the FBI leaked the name of Richard A. Jewell as a person of interest. Jewel was eventually exonerated, sued the media rather successfully for tainting his reputation, and got a public apology from the then Attorney General, Janet Reno. The phrase, person of interest, seems to be filling a lexical gap these days, undefined and vague though it may be, indicating a person who is somewhere between a suspect and a pure guess. You'd think law enforcement might have learned a lesson from the Jewell case (and a few others since that time), but not so. They've used it several times since, most noticeably in the news when the Department of Justice used person of interest to describe Steven J. Hatfill's possible involvement with the 2001 anthrax attacks that killed five people and caused the serious illness of 17 others (see the Washington Post article here).
In the anthrax investigation of Hatfill, the then Attorney General, John Ashcroft, violated DOJ's own policy about keeping private the names of suspects or persons of interest in order to prevent smearing their reputations and tipping off suspects. His goof (one of many in his career, as it turns out) has caused the US taxpayers to cough up $5.8 million to settle Hatfill's claim that it caused him to lose his job, his reputation, and his chance of future employment. The special irony here is that Hatfill's job involved training law enforcement officers how to deal with bioterrorism.
Person of interest, called a "euphemism for a suspect" by the National Association of Police Chiefs, is now routinely used in investigations of all types, from murders to brush fires.
Donna Shaw, writing in the American Journalism Review two years ago, said:
Officially, "persons of interest" means…well, nothing. No one has ever formally defined it–not police, not prosecutors, not journalists. The terms, "accused," "allege," "arrest," and "indict" are all dealt with in the Associated Press Stylebook, but there is no listing for "person of interest." Similarly, the US Attorney's Manual–the guide to federal criminal prosecutions–uses the terms "suspect" "target" and "material witness," but "person of interest" gets no mention. So what are reporters to do?
What indeed? Journalists are stuck with using law enforcement's word, that's what.
So there you have it. Person of interest is an expression that has no legal meaning, yet it carries an undefined and highly pejorative meaning about those so designated. So far at least, it's apparently okay for law enforcement to use it, as long as they don't mind the inevitable lawsuits that will follow.
One of the pleasures of teaching journalism is when students raise questions of ethics and process like the one below. Almost makes me feel as though I am back in the newsroom on deadline.
I share with all because these are the kinds of issues you should be thinking about as future journalists.
"How can the New York Times get away with identifying someone--by name--as an illegal immigrant? (Like in this article: Carmelo Peña Garcia, 59, an illegal immigrant from Mexico who waits for work every day at Roosevelt Avenue and 69th Street in Queens)
It seems counterintuitive that a newspaper would open up a person to prosecution like that. Is there some nuance in the status of an illegal immigrant that I am not aware of?"
My answer - I would hold to the what Kelly McBride says below in this excerpt. For full story, see Naming Names in AJR - available at: http://www.ajr.org/Article.asp?id=4076
It's paramount that reporters be aware of the risks involved when they interview undocumented immigrants, McBride says, and they must know that there are no simple answers. "Journalists call us," she says, "and they want the rule." But there is no rule. Instead there's a process, one in which the reporter must evaluate whether the source is likely to be fired, deported or harassed. Is the source capable of assessing the risk? Does he or she understand the legal implications? "You have to ask a lot of questions," McBride says, "including what your own journalistic purpose is."
Strangle: To kill by squeezing the throat so as to choke or suffocate; throttle. (But that certainly is not the only problem here.)
Shands doctor faces criminal charges
A Shands physician is facing several criminal charges stemming from an incident in which police said he strangled a former girlfriend and threw her into a pool, and a temporary injunction has been filed against him by the ex-girlfriend, according to records.
Bruce Goldfeder, 48, who is a clinical assistant professor at the University of Florida and serves as the medical director of the NASA medical support team from UF, was initially arrested Nov. 11 for an incident involving his former girlfriend, Juanita May, 49.
A neighbor helped May call police in the early morning hours of Nov. 11, and May told police that Goldfeder, who did not have a key to her residence at 3903 SW 89th Drive, was in her home when she arrived that evening, according to the arrest report.
During a struggle with Goldfeder, May told police that she was forced into the bathroom and that Goldfeder ripped her clothes off. When May screamed for help, she told police, Goldfeder stuffed a toilet paper roll and a hand towel into her mouth, the report states.
After a couple of hours in the bathroom, May said she was dragged outside by the legs and then thrown into the pool. The report states that once outside, May realized that thousands of dollars worth of her belongings had also been thrown into the water.
Deputies with the Alachua County Sheriff's Office located Goldfeder around 8 a.m. that morning, and he told them there were drugs in a bag he was carrying, deputies reported. Upon inspection, the deputies found cocaine and drug paraphernalia in the bag, according to an arrest report.
Goldfeder was arrested, but was then released on Nov. 13 on his own recognizance by a judge, according to jail records. Jail records indicate that he was released under supervision of the court services office, including being under GPS monitoring.
Rod Smith, the attorney representing Goldfeder, said Goldfeder's version of the story differs considerably from May's version.
"There are two sides to this story and we're anxious to have our side heard," Smith said. "There's much more to this story than the allegations, and ultimately all of that will come forward."
Kyle Cavanaugh, senior vice president for administration at UF, said Goldfeder is still employed at the university, but that he is no longer seeing patients.
"We're well aware of the external allegations and immediately when that was brought to our attention, the university did go ahead and modify his job duties," Cavanaugh said. "His clinical responsibilities were eliminated. He is still employed and we don't expect a change in that at this point in time."
Goldfeder is as a faculty member in the department of emergency medicine at UF, and is the associate medical director of the ShandsCair Flight Team, according to UF's Web site. He also leads a team of UF physicians, Shands medical staff physicians and Shands nurses to space shuttle launches to act as support for the NASA emergency medical services team at Kennedy Space Center.
Also pending against Goldfeder is a injunction for protection against dating violence that May filed in court Dec. 10. A judge has ordered a temporary injunction against Goldfeder and a hearing on the possibility of a permanent injunction is scheduled for February.
Smith said he and his client have not objected to the injunction because Goldfeder has no desire to have contact with May.
Court records show that no hearings have been set pertaining to the criminal charges against Goldfeder, which include possession of cocaine, domestic battery by strangulation, false imprisonment and burglary.
