Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Game Film Week 7

Game Film Week 7
Titles and Appositives
1.    Which is correct?
a.    Ray La Hood, U.S. Department of Transportation Secretary, said …
b.    Ray La Hood, U.S. Department of Transportation secretary, said …
2.    Which IS/ARE correct?
a.    The U.S. Department of Transportation Secretary Ray La Hood said …
b.    The U.S. Department of Transportation Secretary, Ray La Hood, said …
c.    The U.S. Department of Transportation secretary, Ray La Hood, said …
d.    The U.S. Department of Transportation secretary Ray La Hood said …
e.    U.S. Department of Transportation Secretary Ray La Hood said …
f.     U.S. Department of Transportation secretary Ray La Hood said …

3.    New data from the Federal Highway Administration (FHWA)  show that since 2001, both biking and walking trips have increased by 25 percent since 2001.
ß FYI: IF YOU DON’T USE THE ALPHABET SOUP TITLE LATER IN STORY, YOU DON’T NEED TO USE IT ON FIRST REF.
4.    What is the clause beginning with surpassing called: Pedestrian fatalities dropped by 12 percent and injuries dropped by 17.8 percent, surpassing one of the goals in the 1994 report. You have a link on lab sked to this.
___________________________________________________________________

Edit the following. Keys: dead constructions, extra verbiage (concision), AP style. You don’t need to rewrite completely. Use proofreader marks:

5.    There is still work to be done in order to make walking and bicycling safer and more convenient transportation options.
6.    There is still much more work to be done in order to make walking and biking safer.
7.    There is still a problem facing the agency in fulfilling the targeted goal.
8.    Secretary La Hood recently announced that a policy change was made to promote bicycle and pedestrian opportunities.
9.    the U.S. Department of Transportation established two goals: To reduce the number of bicyclists and pedestrians killed or injured in traffic crashes by 10 percent.
10. It went from 1.7 billion to four billion during the same period.
11. It went from 1.7 million to four million during the same period.
12. However, in 2008, there were 4,378 pedestrians and 716 bicyclists killed in roadway crashes.
13. The number of reported walking trips has more than doubled since the first survey–from 18 billion in 1990 to 35 billion in 2009.



14. Q. Do you place report titles in quotation marks?
A. Yes, we would use quotation marks around titles of reports. 2007-05-16 (Source: AP’s Ask the Editor, Punctuation)

15. Here is why percentages often tell us nothing and why we need concrete numbers.

16. New data from the Federal Highway Administration show that both bicycling and walking trips have increased by 25 percent since 2001. WHAT YOU NEED HERE IS SOME CONCRETE NUMBERS FROM WHAT TO WHAT 
17.  In its 1994 National Bicycling and Walking Study, the DOT set two goals: to reduce the number of bicyclists and pedestrians killed or injured in traffic crashes by 10 percent and to double the percentage of walking and biking trips. FROM WHAT TO WHAT ?
18. From 1993 to 2008, bicycle fatalities fell by 22.3 percent, and injuries fell by 14.7 percent. Pedestrian fatalities dropped by 12 percent, and injuries dropped by 17.8 percent, surpassing the goal in the 1994 report. DO YOU SEE HOW THESE PERCENTS ONLY GIVE PART OF STORY – NEED CONCRETE NUMBERS FROM WHAT TO WHAT
19. Which is correct?
a.    The fifth- and sixth-graders ate lunch.
b.    The fifth and sixth graders ate lunch.
c.    The fifth and sixth-graders ate lunch.
d.    The fifth- and sixth -graders ate lunch.
  1. ALTERNATE V. ALTERNATIVE – SEE http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/alternate.html

21. Which is correct?
a.    The number of reported walking trips has more than doubled.
b.    The number of reported walking trips have more than doubled.
22. Which is correct?
a.    A number of walkers in that park have disappeared.
b.    A number of walkers in that park has disappeared.
23. Bicycle and pedestrian trips didn't fully meet the targeted goal.
24. MAKE ACTIVE: The agency’s report also noted that progress is being made.
25. To say that headlines are elliptical means what? http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=elliptic
26. FYI: New data from the Federal Highway Administration (FHWA) IF YOU DON’T USE AGAIN DON’T USE HERE 
27. FYI: The U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) IF YOU DON’T USE AGAIN DON’T USE HERE
28. Compare quote and paraphrase. What one thing is wrong with the paraphrase?

QUOTE: "Americans want and need safe alternatives to driving. And by making biking and walking safer and more accessible, we’ll be able to provide Americans with more choices and help foster more active, livable communities."
PARAPHRASE: Americans need safer alternatives to driving, and by making biking and walking safe and accessible, we will help foster more active, livable communities, LaHood said.