Game Film Wk. 3

Intense lab but we covered a lot today. Study this for next week's quiz at start of lab. 


Here is that book I talked about = On Writing Well

Proofreader Marks Used by Editors Link

These can come in handy. Often when you are working with a long story, you will print it out and give its first read with pencil in hand. They are old fashioned by still useful.

Verb Tenses

The archaeologists found worn-out shoeshine equipment, such as shoe brushes and empty shoe-polish bottles. ßthat would be the perfect tense (have found) since this is going on as we read. It is not yet in the simple past tense.

Essential or Non-essential? Think about it.

Archaeologists, looking for a glimpse of 19th century U.S. Army life, are digging at San Francisco’s Presidio Army

Shattered plates including ceramics from Japan and China­ indicate who was

During the excavation, artifacts from the Ohlone Indians, dating back hundreds of years, were also unearthed.

Compound Modifiers

a glimpse of 19^th  century U.S. Army life (you will run into editors who say always hyphenate compound modifiers and others just the opposite. I fall somewhere in between. I would say a hyphen after 19^th.

Concision (think about it)

digging around in the earth

Shattered plates, including ceramics from both Japan and China, indicate

Focus Focus (can you spot the problem?)

Once evacuation has been accomplished at the site

at San Francisco’s Presidio Army base in what was once the sight used to dump the garbage

Attribution 
Don’t let the word "said" fool you into missing two sentences

"It’s not as regimented," he said, "people had to forage on their own and get the things they needed for their life...that weren't provided by the quartermaster."  
two independent clauses connected by a comma? 
The buried said

• today, Leo Barker, an archaeologist with the National Park Service said. (you would need a comma before said because the clause before said is what kind of clause?)
• However, even though New Yorker magazine uses said like this all the time – and it drives me crazy – avoid it. In news style, say : today, said Leo Barker, an archaeologist with the National Park Service. 

followed by appositive

In the 19th century, military life was very different from today, Leo Barker said, an archaeologist with the National Park Service.

 that flows out of paraphrase

other households used, "the fancy stuff that you would expect on the table of the wives of the officers.”  
according to vs. said

“The phrase "according to" can be used in attributing reported speech, but do not use it more than once with any single speaker. Although it is usually a neutral term, not suggesting either belief or disbelief, if you use it too often it can give the impression that you doubt the information the speaker has given.” This is from newsmanual.net – I carry this a bit further given the accusative connotation that “according to” can have. I say avoid and just say “said” 99.9999% of the time. Reserve “according to” for such things as reports, documents, laws, etc.

Last Week the M Dash – This Week the Ellipsis

AP on ellipsis ( ... ) In general, treat an ellipsis as a three-letter word, constructed with three periods and two spaces, as shown here. For more …

for their life…that weren't (wrong)

for their life. … that weren't (wrong)

for their life … that weren't (right)

Odd Antecedent

Once the excavation has been completed, it will be restored to its pre-historic state as a wetlands marsh. WHAT IS THE ANTECEDENT TO “IT” ?

Big Words

Once excavation is accomplished
Here is a bonus question re big words. What is the biggest word in the English language? ___________________________________________

Passive to Active Whenever Possible

even bones from meat eaten by the soldiers

One Minute Feedback
You will recall this is the last thing I would like you to do before you leave class – or you can do later in day and drop off in yellow envelope outside my office. They don’t have to be signed.

One Minute Feedback:  Complete this, print, drop off at my desk, in the folder outside my office or in my mailbox before the end of the day. No name needed. à See responses below

Trademarks

First, don’t use if you don’t know the product is that trademarked product. Also, here are a couple of helpful links from blog:  Trademarks & Trademarks - Eds Discuss Use of Brand Names 
 

What does BC mean? 

 BC is used to indicate that the story may be used by morning or afternoon newspapers. In other words Both Cycles – that AM and PM. For more, see …