Game Film Wk. 3

Intense lab but we covered a lot today. Study this for next week's quiz at start of lab. 


Here is that book I talked about = On Writing Well

Proofreader Marks Used by Editors Link

These can come in handy. Often when you are working with a long story, you will print it out and give its first read with pencil in hand. They are old fashioned by still useful.

Verb Tenses

The archaeologists found worn-out shoeshine equipment, such as shoe brushes and empty shoe-polish bottles. ßthat would be the perfect tense (have found) since this is going on as we read. It is not yet in the simple past tense.

Essential or Non-essential? Think about it.

Archaeologists, looking for a glimpse of 19th century U.S. Army life, are digging at San Francisco’s Presidio Army

Shattered plates including ceramics from Japan and China­ indicate who was

During the excavation, artifacts from the Ohlone Indians, dating back hundreds of years, were also unearthed.

Compound Modifiers

a glimpse of 19^th  century U.S. Army life (you will run into editors who say always hyphenate compound modifiers and others just the opposite. I fall somewhere in between. I would say a hyphen after 19^th.

Concision (think about it)

digging around in the earth

Shattered plates, including ceramics from both Japan and China, indicate

Focus Focus (can you spot the problem?)

Once evacuation has been accomplished at the site

at San Francisco’s Presidio Army base in what was once the sight used to dump the garbage

Attribution 
Don’t let the word "said" fool you into missing two sentences

"It’s not as regimented," he said, "people had to forage on their own and get the things they needed for their life...that weren't provided by the quartermaster."  
two independent clauses connected by a comma? 
The buried said

• today, Leo Barker, an archaeologist with the National Park Service said. (you would need a comma before said because the clause before said is what kind of clause?)
• However, even though New Yorker magazine uses said like this all the time – and it drives me crazy – avoid it. In news style, say : today, said Leo Barker, an archaeologist with the National Park Service. 

followed by appositive

In the 19th century, military life was very different from today, Leo Barker said, an archaeologist with the National Park Service.

 that flows out of paraphrase

other households used, "the fancy stuff that you would expect on the table of the wives of the officers.”  
according to vs. said

“The phrase "according to" can be used in attributing reported speech, but do not use it more than once with any single speaker. Although it is usually a neutral term, not suggesting either belief or disbelief, if you use it too often it can give the impression that you doubt the information the speaker has given.” This is from newsmanual.net – I carry this a bit further given the accusative connotation that “according to” can have. I say avoid and just say “said” 99.9999% of the time. Reserve “according to” for such things as reports, documents, laws, etc.

Last Week the M Dash – This Week the Ellipsis

AP on ellipsis ( ... ) In general, treat an ellipsis as a three-letter word, constructed with three periods and two spaces, as shown here. For more …

for their life…that weren't (wrong)

for their life. … that weren't (wrong)

for their life … that weren't (right)

Odd Antecedent

Once the excavation has been completed, it will be restored to its pre-historic state as a wetlands marsh. WHAT IS THE ANTECEDENT TO “IT” ?

Big Words

Once excavation is accomplished
Here is a bonus question re big words. What is the biggest word in the English language? ___________________________________________

Passive to Active Whenever Possible

even bones from meat eaten by the soldiers

One Minute Feedback
You will recall this is the last thing I would like you to do before you leave class – or you can do later in day and drop off in yellow envelope outside my office. They don’t have to be signed.

One Minute Feedback:  Complete this, print, drop off at my desk, in the folder outside my office or in my mailbox before the end of the day. No name needed. à See responses below

Trademarks

First, don’t use if you don’t know the product is that trademarked product. Also, here are a couple of helpful links from blog:  Trademarks & Trademarks - Eds Discuss Use of Brand Names 
 

What does BC mean? 

 BC is used to indicate that the story may be used by morning or afternoon newspapers. In other words Both Cycles – that AM and PM. For more, see …

Ellipsis (AP's rules)

ellipsis ( ... ) In general, treat an ellipsis as a three-letter word, constructed with three periods and two spaces, as shown here.
Use an ellipsis to indicate the deletion of one or more words in condensing quotes, texts and documents. Be especially careful to avoid deletions that would distort the meaning.
An ellipsis also may be used to indicate a thought that the speaker or writer does not complete. Substitute a dash for this purpose, however, if the context uses ellipses to indicate that words actually spoken or written have been deleted.
Brief examples of how to use ellipses are provided after guidelines are given. More extensive examples, drawn from the speech in which President Richard Nixon announced his resignation, are in the sections below marked CONDENSATION EXAMPLE and QUOTATIONS.
SPACING REQUIREMENTS: In some computer editing systems the thin space must be used between the periods of the ellipsis to prevent them from being placed on two different lines when they are sent through a computer that handles hyphenation and justification.
Leave one regular space – never a thin – on both sides of an ellipsis: I ... tried to do what was best.
PUNCTUATION GUIDELINES: If the words that precede an ellipsis constitute a grammatically complete sentence, either in the original or in the condensation, place a period at the end of the last word before the ellipsis. Follow it with a regular space and an ellipsis: I no longer have a strong enough political base. ...
When the grammatical sense calls for a question mark, exclamation point, comma or colon, the sequence is word, punctuation mark, regular space, ellipsis: Will you come? ...
When material is deleted at the end of one paragraph and at the beginning of the one that follows, place an ellipsis in both locations.
CONDENSATION EXAMPLE: Here is an example of how the spacing and punctuation guidelines would be applied in condensing President Richard Nixon's resignation announcement:
Good evening. ...
In all the decisions I have made in my public life, I have always tried to do what was best for the nation. ...
... However, it has become evident to me that I no longer have a strong enough political base in Congress.
... As long as there was a base, I felt strongly that it was necessary to see the constitutional process through to its conclusion, that to do otherwise would be ... a dangerously destabilizing precedent for the future.
QUOTATIONS: In writing a story, do not use ellipses at the beginning and end of direct quotes:
"It has become evident to me that I no longer have a strong enough political base," Nixon said.
Not "... it has become evident to me that I no longer have a strong enough political base ... ," Nixon said.
SPECIAL EFFECTS: Ellipses also may be used to separate individual items within a paragraph of show business gossip or similar material. Use periods after items that are complete sentences.

Game Film Week 2

Weekly Game Film for Week 2:

Assure / Ensure / Insure

with a degree and a good set of clips assuring a spot in a newsroom somewhere. (AP speaks to this.)

Sentences

If you are not sure what is wrong with two following sentences, go review Sentences on the Editing Worksheets on class blog)

Charles had been there all day and now way into the night, he felt embarrassed.

“But I just haven’t found that perfect sneaker yet, maybe I should go somewhere else or come back tomorrow.”

M dashes – a dash the width of a capital M:

comes source gathering-- “footwork” as we call it (those are two hyphens. You need space before the dash. You want an M dash – you can get that by hitting control and minus on the number tab.

house—an activity reporters  (also, this is not an M dash that is used in journalism)

When to capitalize after a colon

but one thing is for sure: blogging is just as common as putting one foot in front of the other. Sitting at a desk and typing no longer define blogging: it is traveling and doing, and sharing.

It is a timeless notion: the world needs more self-motivated, adventurously enterprising people.

Even for the established journalist, the essay serves as a reminder of the one of the most basic tenets of the field: the boss doesn’t always have the answer.

Capitalize the word after colon if what comes after a colon is a complete sentence (an independent clause).

Just Because

It widens the spectrum of their interests as well, because people in different places can have a variety of perspectives and experiences on the same topic.

Everything Hubbard says applies to students as well, because the qualities that make for a superior employee are very similar to those that make for an outstanding student.

We are now told that it would benefit to have some knowledge of the business side of the field, because we are going to have to be entrepreneurial in how we do our journalism business.

 (I am one of those many editors who says no comma before because. I know, I know. They teach that in high school and English departments. On the other hand, I am not sure they even do that these days.)

Who & Whom

Hubbard introduces a character named Rowan who he describes as the epitome of what every employee should be. (that would be whom)

Spelling

no matter how great or miniscule  ACCKKK!

Hubbard touts the worth of a self-dependant, hard-working man (what does dependant mean?)

Word Usage

He asks a myriad of questions (Look up how myriad is used and what did it originally mean?)

Agreement (noun-pronoun in this case)

I am a big believer in the idea that the value of a person is based on their sense of responsibility and ability to be self-reliant.

Philosophy

I suppose I speak from the biased position of a young journalist. Given the state of the industry, I know I can only find success through the belief that this is a higher calling. (Actually, that has always been the case.)

Class Info

Ronald R. Rodgers, Ph.D.
3058 Weimer Hall

352/392-8847

rrodgers@jou.ufl.edu

http://editingmonks.blogspot.com/

L-Drive Log-On How Do

• The initial password is set to microsoft and you will be prompted to change the password upon the initial login.
• The password can be whatever you want, just try not to forget what it is
• The logon ending in 00 is reserved for the instructor. For example, with Section 2672 the instructor of the course designated to be jou4201 would log in to the computer using the login name jou4201c00. (It would be C because it is the third of four labs)
• You should test the new password the first day of class. That is, log on to change the initial password then log out.
• The next step is to log back on to make sure the new password works.
• The next step is to test print a short document.

Interpretation and Other Non-Objective Stuff

Question from a journalist in training:
He asks if the following is editorializing and does it have a place in a news story:
The quip from the NY Times today, which is conveniently not featured online, was in the article about Gov. Schwarzenegger's plan to extend insurance to everyone in California. It started with a quote from him and ended with something along the lines of  "'Everyone in California must have health insurance,' he said in a manner that was almost as much a threat as it was a promise."

My answer (what do you think?):
It may not be editorializing per se - but it is certainly interpretive and it is an interpretation from a very subjective nuance of speech - probably based on a context of background knowledge on the part of the reporter. As you note, it was redacted in online version, so it looks like an editor questioned how the reporter would know this - just like a photo where you say someone is smiling - facial expressions can also be a very subjective interpretation. You might check out the following:


New York Times Readers’ Guide

Following is a note from the Times' Web site, which then linked to the explication of different kinds of news coverage. This offers an excellent explanation of these distinctions.
- RRR

The Times has introduced several design changes in its daily news pages to underscore the distinctions between straightforward news coverage and other journalistic forms that provide additional perspective on events.

---

In its daily news pages, The Times presents both straightforward news coverage and other journalistic forms that provide additional perspective on events. These special forms — news analysis articles, columns and others — adhere to standards different from those of the editorial and Op-Ed pages. The news and editorial departments do not coordinate coverage and maintain a strict separation in staff and management.
All articles, columns, editorials and contributions in the newspaper are subject to the same requirements of factual accuracy.

Here are descriptions of the various forms:
IN THE DAILY NEWS SECTIONS

• Man or Woman in the News: A portrait of a central figure in a news situation. It is not primarily analytical, but highlights aspects of the subject’s background and career that shed light on that figure’s role in the current event.
• Reporter's Notebook: A writer’s collection of several anecdotes or brief reports, often supplementing coverage of a major news event like a summit meeting or an important trial. The items provide glimpses behind the scenes that flesh out the reader’s sense of a major story.
• Memo: A reflective article, often with an informal or conversational tone, offering a look behind the scenes at issues or political developments. The article (with a title like Political Memo, White House Memo or Memo From London) may draw connections among several events, or tell the reader who or what shaped them.
• Journal: A sharply drawn feature article focusing on a place or event (and labeled with the place name, whether foreign, national or regional). A Journal article is closely observed and stylishly written, often light or humorous in tone. It is intended to give the reader a vivid sense of a place and time.
• News Analysis: A close examination of the ramifications of an important news situation. It includes thorough reporting, but also draws heavily on the expertise of the writer. The article helps the reader understand underlying causes or possible consequences of a news event, but does not reflect the writer’s personal opinion.
• Appraisal: A broad evaluation, generally by a critic or a specialized writer, of the career and work of a major figure who has died. The article often accompanies the obituary.
• Review: A specialized critic’s appraisal of works of creativity — movies, books, restaurants, fashion collections. Unlike other feature writers, critics are expected to render opinions in their areas of expertise.
• News-Page Column: A writer’s regularly scheduled essay, offering original insight and perspective on the news. The column often has a distinctive point of view and makes a case for it with reporting. (Columns in the newspaper are displayed with the writer’s name and the column’s title inset into the text.) The news sections also present a number of regular feature articles that carry labels indicating the topics – for example, the Saturday Profile in the foreign pages and Market Place in Business Day.

IN THE OPINION PAGES

• Editorial:A sharply written, generally brief article about any issue of public interest. Editorials are written by the editorial board of The Times, which includes the editorial page editor, the deputy and assistant editors, and a group of writers with expertise in a variety of fields. While the writers’ opinions are of great importance, the editorials also reflect the longtime core beliefs of the page. Unlike the editors of the news sections, the editorial page editor not only reports to the publisher, but consults with him on the page’s positions. Editorials are based on reporting, often original and in-depth, but they are not intended to give a balanced look at both sides of a debate. Rather, they offer clear opinion and distinct positions.
• Editorial Observer: A signed article by a member of the editorial board. These articles have a more distinct personal voice than an editorial. They often reflect personal experiences or observations, and may be written in the first person. These articles are not intended to be policy pronouncements, but do not contradict the board’s positions.
• Op-Ed Column: An essay by a columnist on the staff of The Times, reflecting the opinions of the writer on any topic. Columnists are expected to do original reporting. Some travel extensively. Op-Ed columns are edited only for style and usage, not for content. Columnists do not submit their topics for approval, and are free to agree or disagree with editorial positions.
• Op-Ed Contribution: An article by a person not on the staff of The Times, reflecting opinions about a topic on which the author is an expert or has provocative and well-reasoned ideas. These articles, most of which are solicited by the editors, are not intended to reflect the positions of the editorial board. Indeed, the Op-Ed page is seen as a forum to air diverse and challenging viewpoints.