Game Film Week 5

What is a hung jury?

Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich's trial ended in a hung jury on most charges. The prosecutor plans to try him again. Is that double jeopardy?

What does CQ mean?

Questions in Text Reveal Your Thinking

I noticed a few times when editors removed a big chunk of text. For purposes of this class if you want to do that, I would instead like you to ask the question – and make a cogent argument as to why. This all goes to the issue of the editor-reporter dynamic, which can sometimes be very uncongenial because of arbitrary and unilateral editing without consultation with the reporter or the city desk.

For example, I note that the description of what she was wearing was removed. Again, ask the question to formulate your arguments about why when the angry reporter comes to ask.

Same with the line about DNA – you all have good instincts – I just want you to show me your thinking.

Be Concrete and Explicit
A man was acquitted Friday in the death of a University of Florida student.
Try to be explicit without being tasteless:

A man was acquitted Friday in the rape and killing of a University of Florida student.

or

A man was acquitted Friday in the death of a University of Florida student who was raped and killed during an apparent burglary.

Double Possessives (See AP)

Nelson Muntz, a friend of Jones, 

 or

Nelson Muntz, a friend of Jones', 

DOUBLE POSSESSIVE: Two conditions must apply for a double possessive – a phrase such as a friend of John's – to occur: 1. The word after of must refer to an animate object, and 2. The word before of must involve only a portion of the animate object's possessions.

Otherwise, do not use the possessive form of the word after of: The friends of John Adams mourned his death. (All the friends were involved.) He is a friend of the college. (Not college's, because college is inanimate.)

Time Elements

As much as possible, keep time close to verb

A man was acquitted in the rape and killing of a University of Florida student Friday.

vs.

A man was acquitted Friday in the rape and killing of a University of Florida student last fall

Double Possessives

from a friend of Jones’

DOUBLE POSSESSIVE: Two conditions must apply for a double possessive – a phrase such as a friend of John's – to occur: 1. The word after of must refer to an animate object, and 2. The word before of must involve only a portion of the animate object's possessions.

Otherwise, do not use the possessive form of the word after of: The friends of John Adams mourned his death. (All the friends were involved.) He is a friend of the college. (Not college's, because college is inanimate.)

Memory Aid: This construction occurs most often, and quite naturally, with the possessive forms of personal pronouns: He is a friend of mine.

NEW IDEA, NEW GRAPHTree attended each day of the trial, which lasted five days this week, and sat next to Coleman’s family. Members of the UF Violence Against Women Task Force said they would hold a candlelight vigil next week in memory of Coleman. 

The paragraph above should be broke into two graphs. The idea shifts to something new. 

 

Word Usage

What is a coed? And do you see how it might be a derogatory and possibly sexist term?

AP Stylebook entry: plead, pleaded, pleading Do not use the colloquial past tense form, pled.

Sequence of Tenses

Which is correct?

He was released from the Alachua County Jail, where he had been held since his arrest Oct. 10.

He was released from the Alachua County Jail, where he was held since his arrest Oct. 10.

Concision

With the cooperation of Smythe = With Smythe's cooperation

Reiteration for Review: Colon and Quotes

If what follows said is a quote of more than one sentence, use a colon. For example:

She said: "Panic attacks come out of nowhere. I don’t sleep at night­, and I am afraid of any man I don’t know."

Appositives and Punctuation

The victim, Teresa Smythe, came forward with allegations

Dr. Abdul Nazir, a local doctor accused of assaulting a female patient, will be deported back to Egypt after pleading guilty to aggravated assault.­­­­

Next of Kin
There was some confusion among some about this term. Click on it for an explanation.

Here is that Florida statue regarding proscriptions on publishing names of rape victims that I mentioned

794.03 Unlawful to publish or broadcast information identifying sexual offense victim. — No person shall print, publish, or broadcast, or cause or allow to be printed, published, or broadcast, in any instrument of mass communication the name, address, or other identifying fact or information of the victim of any sexual offense within this chapter, except as provided in s. 119.071(2)(h) or unless the court determines that such information is no longer confidential and exempt pursuant to s. 92.56. An offense under this section shall constitute a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.

Court Vocab 2

1. Manslaughter : Homicides not considered murder or justifiable
2. Panel : A list of jurors
3. Accessory : Person involved in but not present at a crime
4. Accomplice : Person involved in a crime with another
5. Affidavit : Written statement made under oath
6. Appeal : Higher court reviews lower court's decision in a case
7. Arraignment : Court hearing in which accused informed of charges, bail, etc.
8. Bail Bond : Security posted to secure release from custody
9. Bailiff : Court attendant, sergeant-at-arms
10. Nolo Contendere : Plea in which defendant will not contest the charge
11. Peace Bond : Sum held and forfeit if person violates order to keep the peace
12. Plea : A person's legal response to charge in court
13. Probate : Proving settlement of estate of deceased person
14. Recognizance : Arrested person released on his honor to appear when ordered
15. Reprieve : Postponement of execution of a death sentence
16. Subpoena : Order commanding person to appear and testify in court
17. Testate : Death in which a person left a will
18. Tort : Private wrong or injury not involving breach of contract
19. True Bill : Indictment returned by a grand jury
20. Venue : Locality from which jury is called and in which trial is held
21. Venire : Jury panel summoned from which jury will be selected
22. Trustee : Person holding title to property for benefit of another
23. Writ : Mandatory orders issued by a court

Court Vocabulary 1

Court Vocab 1

1. Brief : Document listing facts, law pertinent to court case
2. Certiorari : Writ from higher court requesting lower court case records
3. Common Law : Based on court decisions, tradition rather than statutes
4. Contempt : Act harmful to authority, dignity, operations of a court
5. Continuance : Postponement or adjournment of trial until a later date
6. Cross-examine : To question a witness already questioned by opposite side
7. Demurrer : Plea that even if charges are true, they do not constitute a crime
8. Deposition : Statement made under oath by person unable to appear in court
9. Equity : System of justice applied to circumstances not covered by law
10. Estoppel : Restraining a person from contradicting previous testimony
11. Executor : Person named to carry out provision of a will
12. Extradition : Surrender of fugitive by one state to another for prosecution
13. Felony : Serious crimes punishable by death or imprisonment
14. Habeas Corpus : Ordering detained person to court to review legality of restraint
15. Homicide : Slaying or killing a human being
16. Indictment : True Bill by grand jury when sufficient evidence for trial exists
17. Injunction : Court order commanding some action or cessation of an action
18. Inquest : Inquiry held into cause of violent or suspicious death
19. Intestate : Death in which deceased did not leave a will
20. Judgment : Decision, orders or decrees resulting from court decisions
21. Jurisdiction : Extent of authority or control of a court
22. Lien : Claim or charge on property for payment of a debt
23. Mandamus : Order commanding public official to perform duties required by law

Sequence of Tenses

Sequence of Tenses

Armey said Johnson sold 3 ounces of cocaine Thursday evening to two undercover police officers.

VS

Armey said Johnson had sold 3 ounces of cocaine Thursday evening to two undercover police officers.

 

The following is from Towards a Working Grammar for Journalists

http://www.onlineopinion.com.au/documents/editors/towards_a_working_grammar.pdf

In straight news writing, use the past tense for attribution.

The moment a word is spoken, it exists in the past. Present tense sounds stylish but requires skill in order to use it properly. Once you start in present tense, be consistent. Do not switch tenses:

• The state is in serious trouble, Mr. Smith says.
• Speaking to a public meeting last night, Mr. Smith said the ingredients were . . . 

• The state is in serious trouble, Mr Smith said.
• Speaking to a public meeting last night, Mr Smith said . . .

In reported speech, the verb said is the governing verb and, therefore, controls the tenses of any subordinate verbs.

In reported speech, when the verb said is in the past tense, the primary tenses of subordinate verbs must be changed to secondary tenses. Accordingly, present is changed to past, perfect to past perfect, future to conditional, and future perfect to conditional perfect. This is called following

the sequence of tenses. Thus:

• He said he was old but energetic.
• She said she had aged but she had not lost her energy.
• He said he would go but he would be late.
• She said she would have lost her patience by then.
• He said he thought the war was immoral.

Some newspapers do not use the sequence of tenses, although it is grammatically correct. They take the position that, while attribution normally will be in the past tense, verbs within the attributed statement may well be in present tense. They would argue, for example, that someone’s

opinion, expressed to a reporter on a given day, continues to exist:

• She said she thinks the war is immoral.

Documents, which continue to exist after a reporter reads them, should be cited in present tense, and, when possible, the use of the imprecise said should be avoided:

• Court records show that Smith had been arrested twice before on assault charges.

The timeless phrase according to also may be used when writing about records.

• According to the accident report, Smith was driving along Main Road when his car’s brakes failed.

Here is a good explanation of tense sequence:

http://www.jou.ufl.edu/faculty/rrodgers/068%5B1%5D.html

Here is a quiz on Sequence of Tenses

http://www.englishpractice.com/quiz/sequence-tenses-quiz/

This is a nice explanation and shows how some publications are more conservative about this than others from “After Deadline” – a regular column on NYT style questions http://topics.blogs.nytimes.com/tag/after-deadline/

Sequence of Tenses

Several readers were puzzled last week by my criticism of the grammar in this sentence:

On Wednesday, the city of Copenhagen said that Mr. Eliasson will create a bridge there, called Cirkelbroen …

I said it should be “would create,” and indeed, that fix was made for print editions. But some commenters disagreed, thinking that “would” is only appropriate to convey a conditional sense or to indicate uncertainty.

The Times’s style, unlike that of some news organizations, is to adhere to the formal rules on tense sequences. So, for example, a verb that is present tense in a direct quotation shifts to past tense in an indirect quotation after a past-tense verb: I am going to the store becomes He said he was going to the store, not He said he is going to the store.

In such constructions, the future-tense “will” becomes “would” after a past-tense verb. In these cases, “would” is not acting as a conditional (He would go to the store if he needed something) but simply as the past-tense form of “will.”

Game Film Week 4

Parentheses vs. Brackets

This came up in class. You normally use parentheses (99.999% of the time) when you are inserting info.  You would use a bracket (and this is rare [but it could happen]) when you want to insert a parentheses inside a parentheses.

Word Usage

John James Johnson, 27, died instantly,

vs.

John James Johnson, 27, was killed instantly,

I like to say that all words carry freight – some more than others. In this case – do you see how “was killed” could imply that someone killed him – which is why I would suggest the much more neutral “died.”

Punctuation and Pronoun Agreement and Capitalization

Armey would not speculate on the reason for Johnson’s death and the Police Department said they would refer any questions to the District Attorney. think about it

Essential or Non-Essential

An accused drug dealer, who had just been arrested and handcuffed by police, fell from the 10^th-floor balcony of his hotel room Friday morning.  The writer here is saying that this clause is nonessential – which can be argued is true. But this is one of those areas where the very relevance of this info is so important to the lede and story that I would make it essential and remove the commas.

Support for Lead or Hed

A man jumped to his death from the 10^th floor balcony of his hotel room early Friday morning after being arrested and handcuffed by the police.  Did he jump? With headlines and leads we always need to ensure the text of story supports the hed or lede.

Modifiers

Which is correct?

1.   a 3-foot wide patio

2.   a 3-foot-wide patio

3.   a 3-feet wide patio

4.   a 3-feet-wide patio

5.   a 3 foot wide patio

6.   a 3 foot wide patio

AP Style

Which is correct?

1.   Johnson had sold 3 ounces of cocaine

2.   Johnson had sold 3 ozs. of cocaine

3.   Johnson had sold three ozs. of cocaine

4.   Johnson had sold three ounces of cocaine

See link on Sequence of Tenses

Parentheses vs. Brackets

You normally use parentheses (99.999% of the time) when you are inserting info. You would use a bracket (and this is rare [but it could happen]) when you want to insert a parentheses inside a parentheses.

Game Film Wk. 3

Intense lab but we covered a lot today. Study this for next week's quiz at start of lab. 


Here is that book I talked about = On Writing Well

Proofreader Marks Used by Editors Link

These can come in handy. Often when you are working with a long story, you will print it out and give its first read with pencil in hand. They are old fashioned by still useful.

Verb Tenses

The archaeologists found worn-out shoeshine equipment, such as shoe brushes and empty shoe-polish bottles. ßthat would be the perfect tense (have found) since this is going on as we read. It is not yet in the simple past tense.

Essential or Non-essential? Think about it.

Archaeologists, looking for a glimpse of 19th century U.S. Army life, are digging at San Francisco’s Presidio Army

Shattered plates including ceramics from Japan and China­ indicate who was

During the excavation, artifacts from the Ohlone Indians, dating back hundreds of years, were also unearthed.

Compound Modifiers

a glimpse of 19^th  century U.S. Army life (you will run into editors who say always hyphenate compound modifiers and others just the opposite. I fall somewhere in between. I would say a hyphen after 19^th.

Concision (think about it)

digging around in the earth

Shattered plates, including ceramics from both Japan and China, indicate

Focus Focus (can you spot the problem?)

Once evacuation has been accomplished at the site

at San Francisco’s Presidio Army base in what was once the sight used to dump the garbage

Attribution 
Don’t let the word "said" fool you into missing two sentences

"It’s not as regimented," he said, "people had to forage on their own and get the things they needed for their life...that weren't provided by the quartermaster."  
two independent clauses connected by a comma? 
The buried said

• today, Leo Barker, an archaeologist with the National Park Service said. (you would need a comma before said because the clause before said is what kind of clause?)
• However, even though New Yorker magazine uses said like this all the time – and it drives me crazy – avoid it. In news style, say : today, said Leo Barker, an archaeologist with the National Park Service. 

followed by appositive

In the 19th century, military life was very different from today, Leo Barker said, an archaeologist with the National Park Service.

 that flows out of paraphrase

other households used, "the fancy stuff that you would expect on the table of the wives of the officers.”  
according to vs. said

“The phrase "according to" can be used in attributing reported speech, but do not use it more than once with any single speaker. Although it is usually a neutral term, not suggesting either belief or disbelief, if you use it too often it can give the impression that you doubt the information the speaker has given.” This is from newsmanual.net – I carry this a bit further given the accusative connotation that “according to” can have. I say avoid and just say “said” 99.9999% of the time. Reserve “according to” for such things as reports, documents, laws, etc.

Last Week the M Dash – This Week the Ellipsis

AP on ellipsis ( ... ) In general, treat an ellipsis as a three-letter word, constructed with three periods and two spaces, as shown here. For more …

for their life…that weren't (wrong)

for their life. … that weren't (wrong)

for their life … that weren't (right)

Odd Antecedent

Once the excavation has been completed, it will be restored to its pre-historic state as a wetlands marsh. WHAT IS THE ANTECEDENT TO “IT” ?

Big Words

Once excavation is accomplished
Here is a bonus question re big words. What is the biggest word in the English language? ___________________________________________

Passive to Active Whenever Possible

even bones from meat eaten by the soldiers

One Minute Feedback
You will recall this is the last thing I would like you to do before you leave class – or you can do later in day and drop off in yellow envelope outside my office. They don’t have to be signed.

One Minute Feedback:  Complete this, print, drop off at my desk, in the folder outside my office or in my mailbox before the end of the day. No name needed. à See responses below

Trademarks

First, don’t use if you don’t know the product is that trademarked product. Also, here are a couple of helpful links from blog:  Trademarks & Trademarks - Eds Discuss Use of Brand Names 
 

What does BC mean? 

 BC is used to indicate that the story may be used by morning or afternoon newspapers. In other words Both Cycles – that AM and PM. For more, see …

Ellipsis (AP's rules)

ellipsis ( ... ) In general, treat an ellipsis as a three-letter word, constructed with three periods and two spaces, as shown here.
Use an ellipsis to indicate the deletion of one or more words in condensing quotes, texts and documents. Be especially careful to avoid deletions that would distort the meaning.
An ellipsis also may be used to indicate a thought that the speaker or writer does not complete. Substitute a dash for this purpose, however, if the context uses ellipses to indicate that words actually spoken or written have been deleted.
Brief examples of how to use ellipses are provided after guidelines are given. More extensive examples, drawn from the speech in which President Richard Nixon announced his resignation, are in the sections below marked CONDENSATION EXAMPLE and QUOTATIONS.
SPACING REQUIREMENTS: In some computer editing systems the thin space must be used between the periods of the ellipsis to prevent them from being placed on two different lines when they are sent through a computer that handles hyphenation and justification.
Leave one regular space – never a thin – on both sides of an ellipsis: I ... tried to do what was best.
PUNCTUATION GUIDELINES: If the words that precede an ellipsis constitute a grammatically complete sentence, either in the original or in the condensation, place a period at the end of the last word before the ellipsis. Follow it with a regular space and an ellipsis: I no longer have a strong enough political base. ...
When the grammatical sense calls for a question mark, exclamation point, comma or colon, the sequence is word, punctuation mark, regular space, ellipsis: Will you come? ...
When material is deleted at the end of one paragraph and at the beginning of the one that follows, place an ellipsis in both locations.
CONDENSATION EXAMPLE: Here is an example of how the spacing and punctuation guidelines would be applied in condensing President Richard Nixon's resignation announcement:
Good evening. ...
In all the decisions I have made in my public life, I have always tried to do what was best for the nation. ...
... However, it has become evident to me that I no longer have a strong enough political base in Congress.
... As long as there was a base, I felt strongly that it was necessary to see the constitutional process through to its conclusion, that to do otherwise would be ... a dangerously destabilizing precedent for the future.
QUOTATIONS: In writing a story, do not use ellipses at the beginning and end of direct quotes:
"It has become evident to me that I no longer have a strong enough political base," Nixon said.
Not "... it has become evident to me that I no longer have a strong enough political base ... ," Nixon said.
SPECIAL EFFECTS: Ellipses also may be used to separate individual items within a paragraph of show business gossip or similar material. Use periods after items that are complete sentences.

Game Film Week 2

Weekly Game Film for Week 2:

Assure / Ensure / Insure

with a degree and a good set of clips assuring a spot in a newsroom somewhere. (AP speaks to this.)

Sentences

If you are not sure what is wrong with two following sentences, go review Sentences on the Editing Worksheets on class blog)

Charles had been there all day and now way into the night, he felt embarrassed.

“But I just haven’t found that perfect sneaker yet, maybe I should go somewhere else or come back tomorrow.”

M dashes – a dash the width of a capital M:

comes source gathering-- “footwork” as we call it (those are two hyphens. You need space before the dash. You want an M dash – you can get that by hitting control and minus on the number tab.

house—an activity reporters  (also, this is not an M dash that is used in journalism)

When to capitalize after a colon

but one thing is for sure: blogging is just as common as putting one foot in front of the other. Sitting at a desk and typing no longer define blogging: it is traveling and doing, and sharing.

It is a timeless notion: the world needs more self-motivated, adventurously enterprising people.

Even for the established journalist, the essay serves as a reminder of the one of the most basic tenets of the field: the boss doesn’t always have the answer.

Capitalize the word after colon if what comes after a colon is a complete sentence (an independent clause).

Just Because

It widens the spectrum of their interests as well, because people in different places can have a variety of perspectives and experiences on the same topic.

Everything Hubbard says applies to students as well, because the qualities that make for a superior employee are very similar to those that make for an outstanding student.

We are now told that it would benefit to have some knowledge of the business side of the field, because we are going to have to be entrepreneurial in how we do our journalism business.

 (I am one of those many editors who says no comma before because. I know, I know. They teach that in high school and English departments. On the other hand, I am not sure they even do that these days.)

Who & Whom

Hubbard introduces a character named Rowan who he describes as the epitome of what every employee should be. (that would be whom)

Spelling

no matter how great or miniscule  ACCKKK!

Hubbard touts the worth of a self-dependant, hard-working man (what does dependant mean?)

Word Usage

He asks a myriad of questions (Look up how myriad is used and what did it originally mean?)

Agreement (noun-pronoun in this case)

I am a big believer in the idea that the value of a person is based on their sense of responsibility and ability to be self-reliant.

Philosophy

I suppose I speak from the biased position of a young journalist. Given the state of the industry, I know I can only find success through the belief that this is a higher calling. (Actually, that has always been the case.)